Monday, March 16, 2009

Boob Tube Film Festival

Our daughter Indira was born the night before the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, so for the first 2 weeks of her life, nighttime feedings were accompanied first by the opening ceremonies, then by swimming and gymnastics (in real time!) But once that event came to an end, and the baby was still waking several times a night to nurse, I needed something to occupy me aside from infomercials.

The baby's room also doubles as a guest room, complete with tiny tv/dvd combo. So for the past 7 months, baby and I have been staging our own Boob Tube Film Festival. We watch about 30 minutes of a film per night. She has snacks; I abstain. Here's a list of what we've seen so far, rated (with 1 boob being the worst, and 5 the best):

Six Feet Under Complete Series (about 60 episodes over 6 months) 5 boobs (drama, romance and humor with a high creepy factor. Final episode was phenomenal)
Sex and the City (the movie) 3.5 boobs (good plot, too much soft core porn)
50 First Dates 5 boobs (makes me laugh and cry every time - see The Wedding Singer below)
The Other Boleyn Girl 3 boobs (sucked compared to the book but the costumes were great)
The Wedding Singer 5 boobs (Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are a match made in heaven)
The Big Chill 4 boobs (good flick but would have been better watched in the '80's)
Babel 4 boobs (communication's a bitch)
The Painted Veil 3 boobs (not quite sure what the point was)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull 3 boobs (Harrison Ford's getting old - literally)
Stand By Me 5 boobs (was great when I was 12, is still great now)
The Emperor's Club 4 boobs (not Kevin Kline's best work)
Good Night and Good Luck 2.5 boobs (George Clooney co-wrote this? Why?)
Bon Cop Bad Cop 5 boobs (a Quebecois masterpiece. Makes you crack up in both official languages -- ha ha ha / heu heu heu)
Project Runway - Season 1 4 boobs (A victory for crazy-go-luckys everywhere)
Rachel Getting Married 2.5 boobs (Anne Hathaway deserved the Best Actess Oscar Nomination, but she's the only thing this endless movie had going for it)
Twilight 3 boobs (a pale comparison to the book, but good visual effects)
Seven Pounds 5 boobs (the gift that keeps on giving)
I've Loved You So Long 5 boobs (a testament to the power of a mother's love)
27 Dresses 3 boobs (she was much more funny alongside Seth Rogan and his juvenile humour in "Knocked Up")
The X-Files - First Season 4.5 boobs (proof you don't have to be thin, tall or well-dressed to be a great leading lady)
Death at a Funeral 4 boobs (the Brits really know how to make a great movie out of a single setting and minimal plot)
Dan in Real Life 4 boobs (sweet and funny and enough awkward moments to make it a true Steve Carrell performance)